If I were a policeman

Hi all!
I know it's been so long since i've posted.
Well, I've been wondering if I were to be a policeman and have to do a report on a suicide case, how would I do it.
Let's start.

"I was relaxing in the police station and suddenly my superior asked me to attend a suicide case.
So I drove to the place using the very cool police car.
After that, I saw a guy trying to commit suicide.
So I took the lift and went to him.
I asked him to calm down and get down from there.
And to my surprise, he did.
What do you think??
You thought he got down towards me?
NO.
He came down THE OTHER SIDE!
TOWARDS MY CAR SOME MORE!!
He thought what???
My car got safety net ah??
Ish.....
So, I thought, Oh well, case closed.
Finish!
End of report! "

So what do you think of my story?
Hahahahahhaa.

Ok.
Well,
Bye bye.